Sunday, March 28, 2010

Grace in the moment...

About 2 moths ago I was at a PBM (Pediatric Behavioral Medicine) appointment with Kaelin.  She sees a therapist who helps her to get her mind around her differences and develop coping skills. He told me at this particular appointment that Kaelin is a challenge to parent.  Whew, glad we got that out of the way! OK at least it's in her file that it's not ALL my fault! :)  He said she can't seem to tell the difference between reward and punishment, and here I thought that was a pretty clear difference.  Apparently, to Kaelin ANY attention is good attention...  We've also recently learned that she doesn't handle praise well.  She was praised this weekend because all of her hard work is paying off.

Enter the flip side.  When we began this journey, Kaelin was having a few sensory issues with her clothing.  Seams and little balls of fluff could easily result in a 3 hour screaming fit.  With all the work that we've done I thought Kaelin had overcome this  frustration.  This morning, it began again.  Today a seam in the armpit of her shirt set her off.  I cannot express the depth of frustration I feel when this happens.  My 7 1/2 year old has days when she cannot dress herself, something my 3 year old has no trouble doing.  So I remain calm, remind her that, to my knowledge, a shirt has never killed anyone and that she'll feel much better in just a bit when her clothes warm up a little.  I see it in her face, she just wants to rip the shirt right off.  She's struggling to get her thought and emotional process on an even keel.  She amazing.

Kaelin may be a challenge to parent, but I prayed for that challenge. Endure heartbreak for that challenge.  Am in awe of that challenge.  I can handle this because God said I could and entrusted me with His challenging child.  The best part is, I know that when Kaelin and I make it through all of this, we will have something beautiful.  She is my little butterfly in a caterpillars body.  The beauty is there and I will wait patiently as the Lord coaxes it out. 

2 comments:

  1. I remember your first having to deal with the sensory issues way back during our days at Hanscom. I dropped Livie off at your house early one morning, and caught you at the beginning of dealing with one of those sensory melt-downs.

    Little did I know that when I came to pick Livie up at the end of the day, you would've had to have dealt with an all-morning melt-down.

    You are so right about God, though - when He gives us a challenge, He always stays with us to see us through. He gave you the patience to see through your frustrations.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Sonya, I forget how many people have seen some part of the transition she has been undergoing. Thanks for the encouraging words. :) I miss cuddling Livie, she was always a joy to watch :)

    ReplyDelete