Thursday, September 9, 2010

little moments to get through

It's been a while since I posted last.  For a bit it felt as though writing this blog became one more thing calling my name. Not so much now. 

God has been good to me.  As I write this, Kaelin and I are sick and Kaelin's been home from school since Wednesday and will not return until Monday.  Griffin is stretching his proverbial wings, and thus my patience and Kevin and I haven't had a date since we left California!  So much more has happened and I can't even vent it all here if I wanted to but, I will tell you that prayers have been answered.

My most common prayer to the Almighty is that He will give me what I need to get through the moment whatever it may be.  In return He's been pointing out that the many moments aren't so difficult if taken one at a time.  I have a tendency to borrow trouble from tomorrow, do you do that? The problem with that is I don't know what tomorrow's troubles will be so I'm really just creating more trouble. 

I've decided, then to see the moments as opportunities to accomplish something.  So far I have finished fixing Griffin's quilt, and I'm almost done with his crocheted blanket.  Oh! I also finally wrote something on my blog! Once the blanket's done I guess I'll just see what's on the top of the pile. :)

Loved ones, my prayer for you is that you too use your moments.  Blessings!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Bein' a girl

Sometimes I hate bein' a girl...  Sometimes I love bein' a girl...  give me 5 minutes and it'll change again. Have a happy Sunday! :)

Friday, April 9, 2010

A letter from the King

A friend shared this with me and I want to share it with you. I pray you are blessed in reading it, I know I was.  Thanks Kim. 

The only prerequisite you need to become a woman of God is the desire to live by the word of God.  Our God sees the desires of our hearts long before He hears our voices. He knows that we long to please Him, and that brings Him pleasure. He will give us strength when we are weak. He will give us direction when we become confused. Jesus will smile when He mentions our names before the Father. No matter how hard it is for you to believe, God made no mistakes when He formed you. You are beautiful to Him, and the more you believe this truth, the more beautiful you become. 
And He loves you, just as you are. Hear Him speaking directly to you in this letter:

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils were too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.

Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib which protect his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. 

Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you I created you perfectly and beautifully, Your characteristics are as the rib - strong, yet delicate ad fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man: his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. 

The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and to be held close to his side.

You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtue in your heart. Your eyes - don't change them. Your lips - how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands, so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I've held your heart close to mine. 

Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like Me. Adam walked with Me in the cool of the day, and yet he was lonely. He could not see Me or touch Me. He could only feel Me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me, I fashioned in you: My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My protection and support. You are special because you are an extension of Me. Man represents My image. Woman, My emotions. Together you represent the totality of God. 

So, man, treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt Me. What you do to her, you do to Me. In crushing her, you damage your own heart, the heart of your Father and the heart of her Father.

Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self. 

Excerpt from THE KING'S DAUGHTER by Diana Hagee. 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Be careful what you wish for :)

I've been away for a while now, but I'm baaaack:) 
I took a brief fast from the internet so that I could focus n what the miracle of Easter means to me.  although I did miss a "date" and there were moments it was really hard not to check Facebook, I made it through.  :) 

Did I ever tell you that I prayed for a strong child? Yep I hear the laughter...  Every day of my pregnancy with Kaelin I prayed for a strong child.  I prayed that she would not fall victim to the people pleasing ways that plagued my childhood.  I prayed that she would not be broken by those who did not agree with her.  I prayed that she would lead women.  OH BOY!! Did I ever get what I prayed for!!

Little did I know that I would be her first testing ground! Laugh on, I'll admit it I wasn't a mom, I had no clue what I was in for! So if I complain too loudly, just remind me that I prayed for this... gently please :) And remember, be careful what you pray for, God is listening. :)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Today's word for the day...

is addiction. 

I was watching the news this morning and was shocked at what an epidemic heroine has become for American teens.  The first time they try it they're hooked and only 1 in 10 addicts ever actually kick the habit. 

So it got me thinking...

  (ə-dĭk'shən)  Pronunciation Key 
  1. A physical or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, such as a drug or alcohol. In physical addiction, the body adapts to the substance being used and gradually requires increased amounts to reproduce the effects originally produced by smaller doses. See more at withdrawal.
  2. A habitual or compulsive involvement in an activity, such as gambling.

    I grew up in a home of addiction.  It came in the form of booze, shopping, hoarding, working, eating, smoking...  the list goes on.  I've often thought that I have an addictive persona, but thought nothing of it really...

    So today I really gave it a little thought. What am I passing on to my kids?  So there are two things I would like to cut back on...  OK I just deleted 2 excuses.  So with out the excuses, I'd like to not feel the grip that sugar and TV have on my life. 

     I want to feel better, be less distracted, play more, and in general experience more joy from living my life. Sounds good right? Will I do it?  I don't know.  But, I'm thinking that confessing it here makes me a little more accountable. 

    So if you're reading this, I'm going to ask you to pray for me, stand with me for those times I struggle to stand on my own.  I also want you to send me a prayer request for you, something I can focus on when the going gets tough.  I'll pray in general for everyone who reads this, but I want to be focused in my intercession for you. 

    I can do this, with your help, and with God's grace and strength.  I will promise to post my progress. 
     Oh and can someone send me a box of milk bones? Cujo thinks he's about to have free reign...g

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


OK so here it is, the nasty truth.   Inside this woman hides a snarling, snapping, slobbering beast. At any moment said beast can and will raise it's ugly head and attack whoever is available.  Now, truth be told sometimes the target deserves it, actually more often than not the target does deserve it.

Here's the thing about deserving something Jesus didn't deserve what He got, I did, but He took it anyway.  I try to remember this when the beast begins gnashing it's teeth.  Usually this thought keeps Cujo at bay, but every now and then he claws his way out.

Today I threw Cujo an old bone and told him to back off.  I had both kids at home, tons of running around  to do and appointments to get to.  First Griffin decided not to use the toilet this morning, I'll spare you the gory details, then the kids were constantly bickering over every little thing, then nagging me every other minute, then I missed an appointment, then somebody with nowhere to go got in front of me going half the speed limit, Then I realized that I forgot something at the commissary...  I'll not bore you with the rest.

It was difficult, keeping Cujo caged, but I'm glad I did.  Tomorrow well, I can't promise anything, but let's hope it doesn't start with me wrestling the beast.  :)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Grace in the moment...

About 2 moths ago I was at a PBM (Pediatric Behavioral Medicine) appointment with Kaelin.  She sees a therapist who helps her to get her mind around her differences and develop coping skills. He told me at this particular appointment that Kaelin is a challenge to parent.  Whew, glad we got that out of the way! OK at least it's in her file that it's not ALL my fault! :)  He said she can't seem to tell the difference between reward and punishment, and here I thought that was a pretty clear difference.  Apparently, to Kaelin ANY attention is good attention...  We've also recently learned that she doesn't handle praise well.  She was praised this weekend because all of her hard work is paying off.

Enter the flip side.  When we began this journey, Kaelin was having a few sensory issues with her clothing.  Seams and little balls of fluff could easily result in a 3 hour screaming fit.  With all the work that we've done I thought Kaelin had overcome this  frustration.  This morning, it began again.  Today a seam in the armpit of her shirt set her off.  I cannot express the depth of frustration I feel when this happens.  My 7 1/2 year old has days when she cannot dress herself, something my 3 year old has no trouble doing.  So I remain calm, remind her that, to my knowledge, a shirt has never killed anyone and that she'll feel much better in just a bit when her clothes warm up a little.  I see it in her face, she just wants to rip the shirt right off.  She's struggling to get her thought and emotional process on an even keel.  She amazing.

Kaelin may be a challenge to parent, but I prayed for that challenge. Endure heartbreak for that challenge.  Am in awe of that challenge.  I can handle this because God said I could and entrusted me with His challenging child.  The best part is, I know that when Kaelin and I make it through all of this, we will have something beautiful.  She is my little butterfly in a caterpillars body.  The beauty is there and I will wait patiently as the Lord coaxes it out.